I am thankful that everything has worked out well. Even though going through so much rubbish for a night, things have come full circle and I am just thankful that everything has worked its own way out.
Come this weekend, I have a new place to call home. And I know deep down, all that I’ve been through is well worth this shit that I gone through tonight.
So guys, cheers to the (soon to come) weekend!
God is awesome! He’s my Provider, yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever! It’s so amazing to see how my prayers at intermittent times of the day works! Man, my faith of a little mustard seed has beared fruit. Happiness la. This unspeakable joy and indescribable feelings! Phwoah!
All glory to Him! Yay!
Uni’s hell busy, I’m dying in the piles of all my readings. First DEADline in a week’s time. Then daddy’s coming to this wasteland. I can’t wait for this semester to end so I can return home and have some fun.
So much stuff has happened, happy things, weird things, unhappy things, heartbreaking things, too much la. Last night’s cell was awesome, cottlesloe was a good change to my ever busily packed schedule. It was a good change to sit back and relax for a bit.
Nothing much left to say. Except I miss the people back home, for once in my aussie life, I actually miss being back in Singapore.
Hope you’re truly happy with her.
Hope the decision made is a right one.
May you be truly blissful.
Ben Chew, this may come as a surprise for you, and for the many of my other readers. Afterall, the relationship that we had was never on a closely knitted level. At least, that is what I feel.
Though I was once part of your flock and you were once a shepherd I looked up to, this is not so anymore. In the first year of me being in Australia, news of you leaving hit me. I thought nothing of it and sincerely wished you well. But all the events that happened after really made me appreciate the fact that I was not there (Singapore) physically to experience the heart-wrenching pain that my fellow loved ones had to go through.
Upon setting feet on home soil and hearing all sorts of stuff going on, I still chose to ignore and just see for myself. Another semester passed, and home ground I reached again, all these times, still choosing to sit by the fence and see for myself. However, throughout all these times, no contact was made to even ask how I am doing. I thought, fine, maybe just to let the dust settle into the ground; let things get back as per normal.
MSN conversations were kept to a bare minimum, even then, no sense of warmth that even a casual friend exudes came from you. So I thought, maybe it was the distance. I don’t know why, but I kept coming up with reasons for your actions. But then it hit me.
What does it mean, to truly be a pastoral leader to his flock, or for that matter, all his past and present flocks? Does it mean that his attention is only given to his present flock, and his past flocks are forgotten? Does it mean that once they are released from his care, that he gives them no more care? Does it mean that his love is only concentrated on his present flock and the past does not get any? Now that we belong to different home churches, not only do I not hear from you, it is as though we are both non-existent in each other lives! *Gasp* How then, can you truly say you still care for us? Or do you not anymore?
I reckon a good pastoral leader still cares for his flock throughout their entire lives. Yes, people do move on, and I admit that many other leaders would be sent our way, but I also believe that a truly caring leader would be one that still showers unconditional love, care and attention to all his flock. Yes, the time spent with each other would be shortchanged, the channel used to spread the love would be shortchanged, but it is the thought that counts. The sincerity that outflows from the heart tells much of a person.
I am definite that my current leader at my church here would do the above 20 years down the road, though we may be in different continents, but I am sure my heart would be warmed and fuzzy once in awhile because I would receive some form of sincerity from him/her. Why so? You might ask. This is because their actions have shown me just that. Months can pass before I actually see them in person, but they sure do ask to see what is going on with me.
And so Ben Chew, it used to really puzzle me, why your actions are such and why tongues are wagging all around. But not anymore. I cannot say I have my answer because hey, you never really did give us any answers to the questions we were all looking for. And in case you are still do not know what the question is, here it is.
Do you not care for/about us now? Just because we are not under your flock anymore?
